She is running on a long trampoline, so it was a little shaky for her. There was another girl who kept wanting to run, but Allie just wouldn't stop. I had to pull her off so someone else could take a turn!
School started last night. The first class was full of all the frustrating things about the first day of class. Trying to figure out your assignments, getting to know a new teacher with new expectations, trying to think of ways to get it all done in such a short amount of time...
I keep reminding myself that this is it...after this, I'm done! It's that final sprint down the homestretch after a long, long run. The longest I have ever run is 4 miles (thanks Katherine), and it was exhausting. But somehow you find that energy for one final push down the homestretch. I guess I'm just going to have to dig deep and find that energy to get this over with!! I can do it!!!
My birthday is tomorrow and my mom and dad are coming up to take me out to lunch. I love my parents so much and I'm excited to see them tomorrow. Of course, I get to pick the restaurant. The only problem is, I'll have little stinker with me and so whatever I pick has to be kid friendly! Good thing I like places like Red Robin and I'm not totally burned out on them yet.
Speaking of sacrificing for your kids...I never really knew how much of yourself can be lost in your kids. Of course my life has been enriched in more ways that one, but you definitely lose that independence you had before children. The more I reflect on parenting, the more I realize that it was not at all what I expected. I was listening to a speaker tonight at a women's get-together about disappointment in life stemming from unmet expectations. By no means am I saying I'm disappointed in Allie, or being a mom, but there have definitely been some expectations I had of parenting, marriage with children, and life in general that have gone unmet. The problem is not that things have gone wrong, the problem is my expectations...they're either unrealistic, or unhealthy. I've read romance novels and gotten angry with my husband for not being more romantic, I've watched mothers of 10 children parent with patience in a way I never could and been frustrated with myself, and I've seen women of faith who make me feel ashamed for not doing a "better job" spiritually. But the reality is that the only expectation I should have is that God is sovereign and has placed me here for a reason...and not just here on earth, but in this place. As a wife of Jason, as a mother to Allie and baby number two, as a friend, a nurse, a student, a daughter, a sister...I am where He put me, and my expectation should only be that I will call on His name daily and surrender to His will for each passing moment. There are no promises in life, no contract that you sign saying this is how life will go.
And it's funny, but I was telling Katherine the other day that there are things I do as a parent that I never said I would do...such as letting Allie eat in the living room (crumbs...I'm surrounded by crumbs), letting her eat in the car (again with the crumbs), letting her have M&M's before dinner (it was only so I could finish making dinner), and wishing she would watch more TV (that's because she watches zero...and I so wish she would!!). She told me of a saying someone else had told her...that she was a much better mom before she had children!! It's true, I was an exceptional mom before I had kids...now I'm just a survivor!!
My husband tells me I should edit my thoughts more and be more intentional about how I write...but I write like I talk, which is as soon as the thought is in my head, it's out of my mouth...not a quality I want to teach my kids...I'm working on it! But, my posts tend to be that way too. In my head, and then in print for all to read. Hope you all are having a great week!
Valerie
6 comments:
Cute video! Remember we all have higher expectations that we should, I am just as guilty. Happy Birthday love.
Clearly you love your daughter which is a true sign of a good mother. My favorite part of the video is you laughing. Allie crashing and falling over is pretty good, too.
That video is hilarious. Maybe the guys and I will have to play hooky on a Wed to tag along! Happy Birthday dude!
Happy birthday, Val! We may think we had it figured out before kids, but the truth is, I think if you look real hard, we are much better and wiser now than we give ourselves credit for. You have to look at the little things: baking with her, taking her to the playgym(and enjoying it), and see them for the heroic child-rearing feats that they are. That's what makes you a great momma. Not avoiding crumbs.
I love Allie's little ole' legs just a running. Don't edit your thoughts too much, those instinctual thoughts are what make you Valerie.
I can't imagine you editing your thoughts...what would there be to say? Not that you have uninteresting edited thoughts, but I love how I hear you from even Fargo when I read your blog. Tell the hubby he can't take that privilege from me!!
Miss you and love you lots friend!
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