It's now a little after 4:30 am and I've been awake since 3:30 am. Trying to shut my brain off, but unfortunately, I can't. I know this is going to hurt later today...and let's be honest...for the next 6 months.
I'm not naive this time around. I know that something unexpected will happen with this baby. He won't sleep (well maybe that's expected), he won't eat, the other kids will act out...who knows how it will go. However, this time around I'm prepared. Not to say that I will be able to mediate all the problems that arise with grace and dignity...but rather I know that frustration is coming...and we'll get through it.
It's not going to be easy. I'm not deluded into thinking "what's one more." One more, is another human being to feed, clothe, nurture, care for, and raise to be the kind of person Jason and I value. This will not be simple. But this time I feel different. This time I am starting out with the full knowledge that I cannot do this on my own power. I need to reach out to the One who created us all in His image - and knows that we (Jason and I) are completely incapable of doing this on our own.
So, here we go. Let's do this!
Valerie
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