The other two

I haven't talked much about the other two kids in our family in a while! It's easy to do a post about a child that changes every day, but sometimes I forget how much the older ones are changing. 

Allison is a busy girl. Monday nights she has gymnastics, Tuesday nights is soccer practice, and Wednesday nights is AWANAs at church. She usually has a soccer game on Saturdays and will through October when the season ends. 

She's not the most competitive kid in the world, but she definitely doesn't like to lose. She hasn't quite figured out that she has to work hard if she wants to get better. I think she's still hoping that it's going to come easy. On the other hand, Jason and I see that fire in her. There are moments where she shows us that grit, that determined spirit. We hope she continues to develop that. 

Jason is helping coach her soccer games and helps with practice. It's been fun for them. She is not terribly social. She likes to play with friends, but when I've seen her on the soccer field, or on the sidelines, she doesn't do a lot of interacting with the other kids. She likes to watch, or do her own thing. When I pick her up at school, other kids will yell "bye" or wave and she doesn't really respond to them. I ask her if she plays with kids and talks to them at school and she says yes, but it's hard to know. 

 This is her with her "star of the game" sticker after she scored two goals! She had a great game that day. Others, she seems to care less. We are never quite sure which girl will show up!

As far as school goes, I think she's doing well? The only report I get from her teacher is a calendar that goes home each day with a color on it for how their day was. Green is good, yellow ok, and red is bad. She's had a green day every day...but that's all I got. I hear parents talking about how their child comes home telling them every detail. I get barely 10 words. If she does tell me about something, it's usually PE, or that they did a special art project. I don't get much on the social end, and she never talks about what she's learning. On that end, I don't know that she's really learning a whole lot on the academic side. Yes, kindergarten is a thousand percent more than just academics. There's the social aspect, learning to follow instructions, to contend with 22 kids in her class, to sit quietly, to stay awake all day... When it comes to academics though, she entered kindergarten reading at a 2nd grade level and counting to 100 (and above) and even by 10s. She had learned rudimentary math (at the dinner table yesterday she told me that 4+4=8, that 5+3=8, and that 2+6=8. "see mom, all you have to do is take one away from one number and add one to one number and you get the same number! Pretty sure she didn't learn that in kindergarten). Knowing all these things are good for her academically, and Jason and I firmly believe that our children should be challenged early in life, but she has a long way to go on the social end. 

She's usually pretty crabby when she gets home, and stays that way until she gets a snack. I've found that giving her 10 minutes or so to herself to eat a snack and read a book greatly improve her mood. She seems fairly social with people she knows, and likes to be active and doing things/going places. But I think there's a considerable amount of introvert in her that needs some time to sit and be by herself. She's becoming much more independent and I'm trying to foster that as much as possible. It's hard when I have 3 kids to think about and limited amounts of time to get out the door, but she really does so much better if I give her responsibility. 

We are both yellers. My lack of patience and her sassy mouth make for a bad combo. But we are learning and growing with each other, and I'm trying hard to allow her space to grow up, while still remembering that she's not even 6 years old! It's been challenging lately as I think she is tired and still trying to sort out life in school. Some days she wakes up and asks if she will have to go to school every day. "Yes honey, every day...for the next 22 years."

Andrew...where to start...

Most days I don't know what to do with this kid. He most definitely marches to the beat of his own drum, and he is not about to let anyone tell him otherwise. On the surface, he is a fun-loving, friendly, easy going kid with a long fuse who does well on little sleep and rolls with whatever comes his way. But just one level below the surface is a child who can become extremely discontented in about 2 seconds and has absolutely no problem telling you all about it. Usually with a whine, cry, or utter defiant set to his jaw. Lordy...

He goes to preschool 3 days a week 8:30 to 4:30. He always looks forward to going, talks about his friends, and when he's there, Leah (his teacher) says he enjoys himself. He just hasn't quite figured out that school means learning, not playing. He would be perfectly content to do his own thing and play all day. But of course, one of the reasons we pay for him to go is for him to learn structure and the basics for academic learning and success. Allison was reading by this age - but of course, she wanted to. Andrew wants nothing to do with it. Oh, he can name every letter, what sound it makes, and give several examples of words that start with that sound - but he does not want to put it all together into a word. And really, that's fine. What 3 year old needs to read? The point is, we're not really sure what motivates him. And until you find what motivates a child, it's very difficult to parent them. For instance - many kids are motivated by reward. You do this, you get this. Andrew? "No, I don't want to go poopy, I don't want any candy." Threats? Sometimes threatening spankings or time outs work, but it sets off a crying fit, that will continue the entire time he is carrying out your request. Andrew, put your shoes on now or sit in time out. "No (crying), I don't want to, I don't want to put my shoes on!!" He says this as he is walking into the laundry room to get his shoes. So while he obeys - he's not happy about it. Stickers? Nope. Candy? Not for pooping on the pot - he'll do it, but he'll cry on the toilet the entire time (until he sees results, then he's super proud of himself!) The feeling of satisfaction that comes with completing a task? Nah, he's good (he actually says to me sometimes. "no mommy, I'm good.")

Sleeping? Well, Allison and Andrew share a room. They are both in bed by 8:30 at the latest on school nights. Most nights, Jason and I will check on the kids around 10:30, or whenever we head to bed, and there's Andrew. Feet up on the wall, talking quietly to himself...very much awake. That kid does NOT go to sleep on his own well. Lately it's been keeping Allison up and we've resorted to separating them until they fall asleep. Last night was the first night, and he actually fell asleep by 9:30. Improvement!

He is potty trained (hasn't had an accident in months), but I still have to tell him to go. I think only 4 or 5 times in the last 5 months has he told me he has to go. Fabulous. We decided to enroll him in AWANAs when after the second week of me leading Cubbies (3 and 4 year olds) he could say both verses after only telling him once. Guess he's ready! And really, a very bright boy. He just prefers you not know that about him!

*sigh*

Jason and I have had to accept the reality that he will learn/sleep/poop on his own when he is good and ready, and all we can do is show him how much fun reading (or whatever) is, how big sissy can do it (he could care less), how big boys he knows can do it (will cheer on those big boys and then say he doesn't want to). God broke the mold with this one - well, I suppose He broke the mold with all of us, but you know what I mean.

Watching his sister's soccer game. He can't stand it that his daddy is out there coaching and he can't go talk to him. He could care less about the soccer, he just "needs to go tell daddy something. just one minute mommy."

 Feeding goats at Deanna Rose yesterday. He's getting braver with how aggressive they can be!

This is usually how you see him. Off to the side, eating a snack, and caring less that all the children are posing for a picture for their beloved teacher. "No, I don't want to say cheese." 

Really very shocked that he was willing to pose for me. I'll take what I can get!!

Allison and Andrew are two very different children, and yet both perfectly blended combinations of Jason and I. The one thing they both have is grit. That determined spirit, that stubborn soul that says "You will not walk over me, you will not hold me back!" We are so grateful for this characteristic (which is showing itself in spades in Isaac as well). While it is going to make parenting very interesting, we are thrilled with who God made our children, and are so excited to see where they are in 1, 5, 10 years from now.