The search

Jason and I have made lots of tough decisions as parents. One of these decisions was for me to work. Not because we need the money, not because I feel like I have to, but because as a family, it is what's best for us. I have so many friends that stay home with their children full time, and to that I say there is no greater job a mother can have than to raise her children. I am in full support of those moms who can stay home and have made that decision.

A few of the goals we have made as a family involve education and contribution. We want our kids to know the importance of educating themselves, and to do something with their lives they can be proud of. For me, this meant becoming a pediatric nurse practitioner.

I've used the excuse from time to time that I'm going to work because I'm just not very good at being at home with kids all day. That is a cop out. If I felt that God was calling me to stay home full time, I would, and I would do it to the best of my ability. So working right now is not just what I want, but what we feel God wants for our family. I don't believe that I will work in an office for the rest of my life. Will my degree take me on the mission field? Will I use it to be an educator or a volunteer? Who knows. But for now, I plan on working 2 1/2 days a week in a private pediatricians office, gaining experience, making a contribution, stimulating my mind, and learning to balance home and work. It will be a challenge, but we are so ready for this.

That being said, I am looking for day care for Andrew right now. I have called over 15 people, and I know the right person is out there. I am meeting with three different in-home providers this week who have Tuesday/Thursday spots available. I am eager to meet them and will come with a full list of questions. The most important thing right now is that Andrew is cared for a loved.

Allison LOVES her preschool. She has been tired lately and a little cranky. I think she's growing. Andrew is sleeping fairly well for the first stretch of the night (6-8 hours) then tosses and turns until 7:30 or 8. So, if I can go to sleep soon after he does I feel relatively rested, but I don't get a lot of sleep after the first time he wakes. Jason has been exhausted lately. He doesn't have the luxury of taking the occasional nap like I do, and many times finds his list of things to do longer than there are hours to get them done. I struggled for a few months with some post-partum depression, but have been feeling so much better lately. I have begun to relax on keeping this house spotless and just given in to clutter. I realized that this is probably the last time in my life that I will have time off to just sit at home with one baby while my other kids are in pre-school (assuming we have more). So, I'm going to take advantage of it and take as many naps and drink as many lazy cups of coffee as I can before December 1st...'cause then it all changes. No more days off, no more excuses!

We are excited about what is coming, but every day I worry that I won't be prepared. Pray that I would find a great place for Andrew and that our family would adjust to the coming changes with grace and love for each other.

Valerie