Getting caught up and a trip to the ER

We celebrated Allie's 2nd birthday at the farm over the Thanksgiving break. We had such a great visit. The kids played well together and it was so much fun to see family and relax. We had sooo much food and I ate way too much. It was nice that I wasn't a diabetic...I definitely took advantage of it.

Friday was Allie's birthday. She knew it was her birthday and she definitely exploited it! I think Jason and I counted a record number of spankings that day. She opened a few gifts and kept wanting more. She was throwing fits and we were trying to make the best of it. We had a huge brunch of waffles with blueberry syrup and eggs and bacon...YUM! Allie ate well, and took a good nap so she was much happier when she woke up. We spent the afternoon at the church I grew up in. They are building a new gym that will be loaded with a kitchen, several bathrooms and sunday school rooms. It's going to be awesome when it's all finished. But, in the meantime they have this huge open space that is great to play in. We took in some trikes and balls and had some hockey sticks. It was so great to let the kids get the wiggles out and the adults had fun too!

Allie eating her waffles! She is using the "You're the Best" plate that my brother, sister and I used when we had a birthday. That plate has been around for a long time!!

Mom and dad got Allie a baby carrier and some bottles for her dolls. She really liked it. She's going to be a great big sister. 

Leah and Ben got Allie a cute Eric Carle book and a polar bear. She named it Bear Bear. How sweet!

Allie is not a fan of cake. So, I made her a little ice cream cake with oreo, chocolate and vanilla ice cream. She LOVED it. Ate the whole thing!!

Her little attempt at a smile! Look at that empty plate!! She is actually starting to eat a little better. We are finally able to get her to eat by discipline. We have reached a place where she will put food in her mouth and actually eat it if we tell her sternly or threaten a spanking! She ate five bites of chicken the other day...and not a chicken nugget either!

So, I finally ended the semester and I'm starting to try and get my life back. Yesterday I was able to start cleaning. I moved some furniture around, vacuumed, brought my Christmas boxes up from downstairs. I also worked out that day and did some shopping. So it was a busy day! Needless to say, at about 4:30, as I was getting ready to cook some dinner I started bleeding. Looking back, it probably wasn't as much as it seemed, but it was bright red blood, enough to soak a pad. I tried to stay calm for Allie, but I called Jason and had him come home, and called my doctor. Unfortunately, my doc had already gone home and by the time they were able to contact the doctor on call it was 5pm and the office was closing. So...the ER it was. My wonderful neighbor Beth, who just went through a miscarriage about a month ago, gladly cancelled her dinner plans and picked up Allie without a seconds hesitation. Jason and I headed to OPR ER and got checked it. The bleeding had slowed down, and I wasn't having any cramping, but I was still totally freaked. Jason was great. He tried to keep it light even though I knew he was scared as well. They started an IV and got some labs, did a pelvic (that wasn't so fun!) and we sat and waited. The doc said that my cervix was still nice and closed and that there was some blood, but he didn't see any active bleeding. The nurse was able to come in and doppler heart tones while we waited for the sono. It was so amazing to hear that little beating. The rate was 160...nice and fast! The baby looked great on the sonogram. Measured in between 14-15 weeks which is right where I'm at. We didn't get home until almost 10pm and I crashed. I was so tired and a little nauseous. I got up in the middle of the night and had a little more bleeding and of course I laid there nervous for at least an hour. It has slowed down again today. I took Allie to day care this morning and I'm going to try and take it slow. I'm sad because I have so much I want to do around the house. I need to finish cleaning, scrub the kitchen floor, put up the rest of my Christmas decorations, including the tree. Of course my house has been a wreck for so long, what's a few more days. But it's hard to sit here and look at the place knowing there is so much to do. So, I guess I'll get caught up on blogging, ordering pictures (finally figured out I photos on the mac), and maybe writing thank you notes and some Christmas cards. 

Ultimately, at the end of the day...none of us are in control of our lives. We may think that we dictate what we do and where we go, but really, no one can predict what will happen to us, and many times we are thrown into situations where we have no control over the outcome. This is one of those times. I cannot say that this pregnancy will be sustained. It is possible that I will lose this baby. I know the statistics, 6 out of 10 women bleed during their pregnancies, 2 out of 10 miscarry. I've had a miscarriage, and I know what that feels like. But I also know that God is in control. He had a plan for me when I miscarried the first time, and He has a plan for me with this pregnancy. While it is a helpless feeling, there isn't a better place to be when you're helpless than trusting 100% in God's sovereign plan! So, if you all would just pray that God's will be done and I learn to trust His decision without question and give Jason and I peace...that would be great!

Oh, I almost forgot. When I started bleeding Allie had already pulled her chair up to the counter to start helping me cook. I came out of the bathroom, called Jason and laid down on the couch. Allie came up to me and said, "mommy has a owie?" I said yes. She said, "I kiss it," and she lifted up my shirt and kissed my tummy then curled up next to me on the couch while I called my doctor. She is so amazingly perceptive and compassionate, and I love her so very much!!!

Ok, well, I guess I'll try to post more later and keep you all updated, but just pray for my sanity over the next few weeks!

Valerie